Things I Wish I Knew Earlier: #2 Pain is not a good long term motivator.

Most fatal motorcycle accidents happen between 6 months to a year after the purchase of a motorcycle. Why? Because the healthy fear of the motorcycle’s power is gone, and the ability to handle the bike becomes greatly exaggerated. As a result, chances are taken, and lives are lost.

It’s the same with sex addiction. When many of us entered into a 12 step group, we entered when we had hit bottom, and the SAA was the only thing standing between us and the loss of our relationships, jobs, marriages, children, freedom, and yes, lives.

That pain that brought us in these rooms was so severe that we honestly told ourselves, the people around us, and our Higher Power, that we would never do anything again to return to our previous state. We had nothing to lose.
Unbelievably. (at least for us), working the program worked for many of us, and things started to get better.
As things got better, the pain went away, and our confidence grew. We began to feel normal, and the desperation that we felt when we entered the program was gone as well.
The seriousness in which we took working the program went away, and we started to feel like we could negotiate with our sobriety, maybe “sticking our toe in the water” of some of our bad habits. It was then that we relapsed.
It is important to understand that yes, pain is a great motivator to break down the mental doors it takes to deal with your addiction. But just as important is to know that the pain will go away if you work the program, and you’ll start hearing the lies that got you into trouble in the first place. If you want to succeed long term, you need to find motivators other than the pain that brought you to the dance.



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